I cannot speak for my mom, but I am almost certain that if
you asked her, she would express some level of surprise that the painfully shy
daughter who used to read in a closet has to date stepped off of planes
completely alone in four new countries and not had a complete meltdown. While I have had my fair share of
fit-throwing, fear, complaining, and panic attacks, somehow none of these moves
has ever felt like and earth-shattering reach for me. The book lover in me has always wanted adventure, but at my own
pace. I realized that once I took
the dive, it never really felt like a dive. Everyday life in another country just becomes everyday life
again, and astoundingly fast.
The things that changed and the new things I have done have taken me by
surprise, however, and they may not seem like the conventional response to
living abroad, but it is my way.
I found myself talking to myself a lot lately, narrating an interview in
my head, and decided to put my thoughts on digital paper in the form of a list:
Things I Never Expected Myself to Do
Be assertive: At least in this part of Kenya, being
passive will not get you anywhere.
I cannot sort of suggest things that I need by saying “I’d be interested
in...”. It is important to say
exactly what I need, whether it is in the office, while shopping, finding an
apartment, etc, even if it makes me cringingly uncomfortable.
Be rude--on purpose: Sometimes you have to take it even
further when you are traveling alone in an unfamiliar place. In Guatemala I pushed my way onto
busses and yelled at guys who were acting unbecoming of a young man. I didn’t want to and it made me feel
ashamed at first, but safety is foremost.
Casually step over
animal carcasses: This one
should surprise my mother the most.
Build lasting
relationships: I used to think
it wasn’t possible to make friendships in as short as 6 months or a year that
would last. I especially didn’t
think I would be able to make friendships with local people who are used to
seeing white people roll through their town on volunteer trips over and over again
(relevant in Guatemala). However,
I still communicate with people from Guatemala and have plenty of friends in
Kenya.
Worry less about
friendships: I can spend days
alone without FOMO. I am happy to
chill with a book on a Friday night.
Say “yes”: I used to be horrified at the prospect
of attending some party or event when I didn’t know what to expect. I’ve given myself the goal of saying
yes to invitations now. Sure, I
have showed up to a few weddings dressed more like a sister wife than the rest
of the glam queens in attendance, but I still had fun.
Sit behind a desk for
8 hours: Not exactly what is expected of traveling. Turns out I kind of like it.
Move to a place where
I cannot speak the language: I spent a lot of time being appalled at
volunteers who cropped up in Guatemala with no Spanish skills to speak of. How could they expect translators to
appear and people to communicate with them? And yet here I am in Kenya, armed with “jambo” and “asante”
and little more.
Allow myself totally
unnecessary luxuries: Like, totally unnecessary. I came to the realization last year that I don’t have to
totally change my standard of living to be “authentic” or moral in the
development field. A few pounds of
my luggage this time around went to supplies for doing my own acrylic nails and
nail art, something that is weird even at home. I like it, and it gives me something to do. I’m going to continue.
Eat anything put in
front of me, and finish it: With a smile.
Thoroughly enjoy
“tourist crap”: For a time I thought I was too good for this. But now? Breakfast at a hippo pool? Yes. Camp on a volcano? Sign me up. Sunset cruise? I’m about it.
Stay connected to
technology: Traveling doesn’t
have to mean disconnecting, especially these days! You are not always a “better person” for unplugging, especially
when it means staying in touch with family and friends. I invested in a wireless modem, and
many people would probably describe it as my most treasured object. My instagram is popping and I still check
facebook and gmail daily. I have a
computer, tablet and two phones and I refuse to feel bad or inauthentic because
of it. When bats and cockroaches
scurry around at night, I will always have my podcasts on very loudly to ensure
that is all I hear.
